Saturday, November 29, 2014

Doosh Playlist

I have spoken to many writers over the years about their writing habits and traditions. I have a tradition that I have kept since I finished the rough draft of my first book (written under another name) back in 2003. When I finish a rough draft I always take the time to go outside in the sun and smoke a premium cigar, usually a Makers Mark. I assume that’s better than stripping naked and drinking whiskey outside. At least for the neighbors!

I have noticed that most writers need absolute silence when they write. They can’t stand even the slightest of distraction. I guess that’s understandable. I, on the other hand, would go insane without some sort of background noise. I prefer to have music playing when I write, preferably something that sets the tone for what I am writing. If I am writing something that is edgy and a bit out there, like Bedtime Stories For the Terminally Afraid, I will listen to something like The Doors or even go so far as Type O Negative.

For this goofy book, A Man Called Doosh, I had a totally different playlist. If you haven’t read it yet you can pick it up for you Kindle or NOOK for only $2.99. It won’t break your bank account, but if you don’t check it out you just might break my heart. Heh! Oh, and while you’re at it, add The Doosh Playlist to your MP3. It makes your workout at the gym go faster.

Dirty White Boy by Foreigner
Jive Talkin’ by the Bee Gees
Don’t Bring Me Down by ELO
Saturday Nights Alright For Fighting by Elton John
Street Fighting Man by The Rolling Stones
I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
Strut by Sheena Easton
U Got the Look by Prince
Legs by ZZ Top
TNT by AC/DC
Link for Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Man-Called-Doosh-Cyrus-Alderwood-ebook/dp/B00PYW3XIU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417274156&sr=8-1&keywords=doosh
Link for NOOK: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-man-called-doosh-cyrus-alderwood/1120818560?ean=2940046419115

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

A Man Called Doosh!

Eddie Duchesne has a big problem. He and his wife live a comfortable life like most, paycheck to paycheck. Only now that she is three months pregnant they lost their health insurance at his job because of the new health care law. What was adequate for their needs was suddenly illegal. Now Eddie has to pay twice as much for less coverage and they barely get by as it is. What’s the solution? Eddie takes a weekend job as a wrestler in Tampa to make enough extra money to afford their insurance.

Follow Eddie, aka “The Doosh” in this laugh a minute comedy as his wife comes up with a plan to make him infamous in Tampa, at least until the baby comes. “A Man Called Doosh!” is reminiscent of the old glory days of professional wrestling when working the local circuit was important and you never knew what was going to happen next. Bar fights, arrests, a drunken priest, jive talking, and one mean bastard make up the adventure that will keep you laughing your ass off. The Doosh, his wife, her two sexy friends, and Latino Heat are out to change wrestling in Tampa forever.

Enjoy the comedy! Coming soon to Amazon and other online ebook sellers.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Supporting Independent Authors---and enjoying one heck of a good story.

If you've read some of my previous posts on here you'll know that I am very supportive of independent authors. Not all of us have the connections of best selling authors, and those of us that write know that seldom does an agent you query actually take the time to read what your synopsis is before telling you to piss off. It is too risky for them to try to make money off of a new writer. That's why most of the time these days authors sell a lot of books on their own and then the agents come out of the woodwork to sign them...when they have no risk but can share in the piece of the pie. Ever heard of Fifty Shades of Gray? Rich Dad, Poor Dad?

Before I rant, you should meet author Wendy Willett, author of Amber Shadows and the Missing Wands. I recently asked Wendy a few questions regarding her writing and experiences with her book.



What inspired you to start writing and when?

I've always had a creative side. Since I was a kid my talent and thirst for creativity has gone through several changes. First it was singing, then it was acting, then it was writing. While I can still sing and act, I prefer to be behind the scenes, creating the story.  Writing started for me when I wrote an article in grammar school for our class newsletter and found it fun. After school I went to college and found it extremely boring. I wasn't taking courses I wanted, rather the courses they told me I had to take first year. They felt like nothing more than repeats of my senior high school classes. I graduated from Carmel High School for Girls, a college prep high school. They separated the girls from the boys back then and boys were only in my advanced courses, like Drama and Art. Now it is an integrated school. After I graduated, back then, the College of Lake County did not have a drama department and theater. Had they had those classes, I would have added them to my classes and stayed. So I decided to join the work force. I became a secretary for a sign company, met my ex husband and married. I retired 2 years later when I was near my due date to deliver my first born. From that point on, I was a stay-at-home mother. Time passed and I was expecting my second child. During that pregnancy I decided I needed something more in my life than just being a mother. I was bored and felt there had to be more to life than being a mother and wife. It was my creative side calling out to me. That is when I became a student of Institute of Children's Literature. My daughter was born in 2001. This made time hard to come by for studying, but I was able to get my diploma by studying when my children slept. During my last months of studying, the character Amber Shadows popped into my head. I felt it was time to write about a young female protagonist who had magically abilities, yet had emotional turbulence going on in her family life. Most books I had read had male protagonists and it seemed to me that it was done to death. Suddenly I was developing a story. Meanwhile, my professor wanted me to continue my education in advanced classes because of my high grades and talent for writing. She wanted me to go into journalism-writing articles. Now while writing articles was fun for me as a kid, it simply was not what I wanted to learn and do in my writing career. I told her I wanted to write and learn how to develop books, so she taught me to develop my talent of writing a full story from beginning to end. I have been working on writing various projects since then, when I am not working. A big influence on me in writing Amber Shadows would have to be all the works I read on science fiction, the supernatural, and of course my favorite...magic.  Movies even influence me! I'll be watching a movie and for some reason, I'll find myself paying attention to the script more so than the whole movie. I'll be sitting there saying, the line should have been this... or that. I'll even ruin the ending for myself and guess the ending because I can not shut my writer's imagination off! When this started, I found that I like script writing and editing and decided to write the screen adaption to Amber Shadows and the Missing Wands, my first book in a planned series of four. I've edited scripts with others in the indie business, and found it was more enjoyable than writing scripts.

Tell us a bit about your future projects.

Projects I have started are still works in progress. I wrote the pilot to Maniacal Witch and although written and complete, it sits up on a shelf until such time as I can be free to pitch it and continue writing the series. I am open to a producer wanting to read it, buy the rights to it, and offer me a contract to consult on each episode with another writer, and receive a percentage of royalties.  After having to deal with many disappointments in partnerships, people not following through because they weren't who they said they were, etc. I made the decision to remain solo as a writer on projects I am doing now. Currently, I am editing the Amber Shadows script adaption because it needs to come down in pages. I had put so much description in it because I wanted the director who contracts me to make the movie, to visualize the book as I had written it. So unless I can find a reputable producer and director who wants to read it at 140 pages, I need to get it down to the norm of 120 pages. The bad part of having to edit it down is, I feel I am taking away from the script in having to follow these formalities of the film business.   I am also developing book II in the Amber Shadows series, Amber Shadows and the Crystal Locket of Lost Time. Each book I do in the series, will have a script adaption made for movie options. I will be writing the scripts but wouldn't mind another writer adapting each book so long as I have a say-so in the making of the movie. I want the filmmakers to stay true to the stories I write in the series just as J.K. Rowling did with the Harry Potter movies. There is another script project that I have been wanting to write about, possibly even make it a book first. The ideas are spinning around in my head every day so it will be written.  I'm keeping it hush, hush though, because I do not want the idea stolen by another writer who decides to claim it as his/her own. That happens way too often in this business. There are also a couple other ideas brewing in my head for books to write. However, right now my focus is on the Amber Shadows book series and script adaptions. Once the Amber Shadows series is done, I will be moving on to my other projects. 

Who is your favorite writer?

I don't have any. I enjoy many works of various writers, but to say one of them is my favorite would be playing favorites, so I won't say. I did enjoy the Harry Potter series and the Charlie Bone series, stories I've read from my friends such as Pot of Gold, which would make an awesome screenplay by the way. And I've always loved the works of Sir Conan Doyle and J.R. Tolkien. I've recently taken to reading the Fallen Series by Thomas Sniegoski when I can find time.

What kind of experiences have you had promoting your book?

For the most part I promote on FB and Twitter. I have done book signings/readings for the grade school my children attended. One reading in particular stands out in my memory. It was the first time I was asked to talk to the 5th grade students and teachers about writing books and screenplays. They wanted to inspire their students to write short stories and develop them properly, so they asked me to read for them an excerpt from Amber Shadows and the Missing Wands book and talk about my experience as an author/writer. To make them see how amazing reading and writing is, I read each character as if I was the actual character. I found this extremely fun to do because I was able to put my acting abilities to use too.  Afterwards, I received a standing ovation. The kids stormed up to me for autographed posters of the book cover. That was such a rush and one I will never forget! I only wish I could do more book readings/signings. Another time I was asked to teach book writing at another grammar school in Libertyville Illinois. I gave them a project to work on and their teachers only had to follow up on how well they developed their stories.  I miss going out to meet students and fans for book signings, but the reality is I have to maintain a paying job while writing in my spare time. Perhaps in the future I will be able to resume book signings and readings. The kids/fans are amazing and fun to talk to. If I can inspire at least one child to write and develop their talent, then it is more than worth the time given. There is such a joy in reaching out to kids about reading and writing.  


You can find Amber Shadows by searching Amazon and all other major online book retailers.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

10 Commandments of College Life

10. I don’t encourage underage drinking. In fact, I suggest you don’t break the law. However, I’m not an idiot. You go away to college and you’re away from home and the parental controls and you’re likely to partake in an adult beverage from time to time. Or for some of you party animals…every damn weekend and Wednesdays. So if you insist on drinking, I suggest you pick out a liquor that you actually like and slowly build up a tolerance. Slowly! I mean that. Don’t go pick up a fifth of your new favorite and drink half the bottle on a Friday night. You know what happens when you do that? You either have the worst hangover of your life that lasts for three days or you freaking die. Seriously. Go slow. That way over your college years when you have a birthday or a party or something, your cohorts will recognize you as the guy that likes Crown or a particular vodka. They’ll give you those as gifts from time to time and if you pace yourself you’ll have a nice stash of whatever you drink that should last you at least two or three years past college. Why pay for it if you can have enough of it bought for you for various reasons.

9. Pick a cool professor that you actually like. Preferably someone who is closer to your age and barely tenured. You never know when you might need a professor to have your back when you do some dumb shit at college.

8. Do not buy beer for minors!! I stress that. It’s bad. However, once again I won’t be foolish. If you insist on buying beer for underage drinkers, recruit two or three friends along with you to be the beer-buyers. It is best that at least a couple of those “of age” friends be pretty girls. Pretty girls get invited to more parties. When everyone is drunk let the hosts know that they are running low on beer. You’d hate for the babes to leave. So you collect $ from these suckers to go out and buy another case for them. Make sure you approach people individually about the beer shortage. Collect ten bucks from four or five people. Come back and drop off the case of beer. Collect $50 for a $20 case of cheap beer. Split the proceeds with your pals. You hit a few parties each weekend and make a couple hundred bucks. Not a bad score and you look like the good guy for doing the deed.

7. Make friends with a couple of upper classmen with a nice apartment. You never know when your roommate is going to be a dick and you need some place to crash.

6. Now that you’re in college and all growed up, it’s time to put away that shit music that got you through high school and expand your musical tastes. Listen to different things. No more Ke$sha, no more shitty rap music where every other word has to be deleted in the videos. Don’t be that person that still listens to Minaj and Miley, or that white kid that still thinks he’s bad ass by swinging that baseball cap around backwards and listening to gangsta rap. Don’t be that douche bag. Go back and explore musical history by checking out some old Muddy Watters, crossing time into the late 60’s, the re-emergence of some edgier music in the 70’s. I do suggest you avoid disco. But make sure you hang out in the era of George Clinton and the P-Funk Allstars. You will Funkin’ dig it. Try some newer alternative stuff. Don’t be closed minded. It’s a big damn world out there. Pop culture just slings mind numbing shit for the masses. Be smarter than that.

5. A simple slogan says it all: Better Dead Than Red. I’d wager a guess that at least 95% of the faculty at your university are left wing progressives. Don’t let those commies beat the spirit of socialism into you. Question authority. After all, they hide on campus behind academia and have never had to produce in the real world. Those that can DO. Those that can’t TEACH. Remember that. Communism sucks. Don’t let the commies beat you down. To borrow a word from your pals Public Enemy, “Fight The Power.”

4. Be a prankster. You have four to six years of college, depending on how lazy you are. Have some fun with it. It’s a great time before you go into the real world and actually have to take responsibility for your actions. Find someone else in your dorm that has a good sense of humor and won’t kill you for pushing the envelope against them and start a good natured practical joke war. Be careful that you don’t take it too far. You don’t want to be newsworthy at 6 o’clock or anything. Try something funny like waiting until your target is out of his room. He will likely lock the door if he’s smart. That’s when you take a piss in a pizza pan and put it in the freezer. When it is frozen you take it out and pop the frozen circle of piss out like you would with an ice tray. Then you slide it under the door with enough force that it makes it to the middle of his room. When he gets back he’ll wonder how someone got in and took a piss in his floor. A clever little trick if you can avoid being caught by your R.A.

3. Enjoy life in the Quad. When it is warm girls show up in bikinis to work on their tan. It is especially fun to hang out during co-ed intramurals. I knew a guy who would sneak out at night and drop a deuce in the sand where they play volleyball. That was always a laugh when some guy would tromp through the litter box with no shoes on.

2. Debt sucks. Don’t let the snake oil salesmen pawn a dozen credit cards on you that you can’t even make payments on. And you definitely don’t want to still be paying for a cheese pizza you ate during your junior year three years after you graduate. Don’t run up a lot of credit card debt unless, of course, your parents are footing the bill. Then by all means go buy that new Kindle.

1. Don’t forget to be a dreamer. That nerd at Facebook invented that platform while he was in college. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs dropped out of college and made their millions because they weren’t afraid to chase dreams. Just because you are in college doesn’t mean that you can develop some new concept or find your own niche in this world. Those who are foolish enough to think they can change the world are the one’s that actually do.

So here is one more tip for you guys who are planning on going to college this Fall. Get out a notepad and a pen and take some notes. These movies will change your point of view about college life. Make sure you watch these before the next semester. This is important.

American Pie 2
PCU
Old School
Revenge of the Nerds
Revenge of the Nerds 2
The Graduate (an old movie, but the guy shows you how to extend your lazy streak well past college and how to get lucky at the same time)
With Honors
Dead Man On Campus
Back To School

Thursday, March 27, 2014

A College Class About Miley Cyrus...Are You Kidding?

According to an article on Yahoo News, a small liberal arts college in upstate New York (Skidmore College) is offering a college course on Miley Cyrus. Take a moment to insert your own joke here. I don’t think I need to go into an explanation of what is wrong with America’s college system these days. I am curious as to how the professor convinced the powers that be at Skidmore how a class about Miley Cyrus will add to the stature of the University, add to the overall well-roundedness of the student body, and how this class will help students be more prepared for life in the real world after graduation.

I have a college degree and a ton of debt to go along with it that I’m still paying for. Outside of a handful of classes that were actually helpful, I could have gotten the same level of education at the public library and from the Internet. That would have saved me from still having to pay an ass-load of debt. I feel bad for college grads today coming out into this so-called economic recovery only to have lower level or temp jobs and having all that debt come due while they still can’t land that first great job they hoped for. If I were a college student and this class was the best new offering they could come up with I would seriously consider a transfer.

But to offer a class about Miley Cyrus and having to pay a good sum for it seems somewhat ridiculous to me. The 21 year old Justin Bieber look-alike seems to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown like a lot of other child stars that grew up on camera before her. I’m not pissing on the her talent or anything, I’m just making a point that offering a class on cultural success when the girl is barely legal seems a bit dumb. Perhaps the college would be better served having a class about how pop culture impacts society. The whole art imitates life imitates art sort of thing. Starting with the rise of rock and roll in the 50’s and the emergence of Hollywood would be a great place to start.

And besides, if you have to pick one cultural icon to dedicate to an entire class I can think of a lot of more deserving icons. I’m sure Cyrus would agree. How about the blonde bombshell herself, Marilyn Monroe. Or maybe Andy Warhol, The Beatles, or any number of amazing actors with a storied history such as Jack Nicholson or Humphrey Bogart. Or perhaps someone who doesn’t rip off the

80’s band Accept by swinging from a wrecking ball in her video with a Bieb’s haircut. We’ve seen that video before, but we can be thankful that the guy from Accept kept his clothes on during the video for Balls To The Wall.

Oh, before I forget. Angus from AC/DC had been there before as well.