Thursday, March 28, 2013

Remember the 80's?

I thought I'd take a few moments and share the introduction to the book, The Ultimate 80's. It's available on all e-reader formats. I have included the links for it at Amazon and Barnes & Noble at the bottom of this post. You'll like the book. Not only does it bring back a ton of good memories, but it's funny, too! Enjoy!

Ah, the 1980’s. Just getting a chance to hang out with friends brings back so many thoughts of that amazing decade. Growing up in the 80’s meant that we were a bit more innocent than we are now, we were the last generation of kids that would go out and play at night without the hassle of a cell phone and as long as we were home a few minutes after the street lamps came on then all was well in the world. In fact, the only people with a “cell” phone were the super rich like Gordon Gekko from the movie Wall Street, and the only people with beepers were drug dealers! How about that for being in the technological stone age!

If you’ve bought this book (and obviously you have), I bet one of the first things that went through your mind when you found this book was that goofy email that goes around from time to time and on Face Book called “Children of the 80’s.” Well, there were actually a few versions of that email going around, but here is one version that probably looks familiar:

We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first "lost generation" nor today's lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak. We are the ones who played with Lego Building Blocks when they were just building blocks and gave Malibu Barbie crewcuts with safety scissors that never really cut.
We collected Garbage Pail Kids and Cabbage Patch Kids and My Little Ponies and Hot Wheels and He-Man action figures and thought She-Ra looked just a little bit like I would when I was a woman. Big Wheels and bicycles with streamers were the way to go, and sidewalk chalk was all you needed to build a city. Imagination was the key. It made the Ewok Treehouse big enough for you to be Luke and the kitchen table and an old sheet dark enough to be a tent in the forest. Your world was the backyard and it was all you needed. With your pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson sang back up to you and everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a glove like Michael Jackson's.
Today, we are the ones who sing along with Bruce Stringsteen and The Bangles perfectly and have no idea why. We recite lines with the Ghostbusters and still look to The Goonies for a great adventure. We flip through T.V. stations and stop at The A Team and Knight Rider and Fame and laugh with The Cosby Show and Family Ties and Punky Brewster and what you talkin' 'bout Willis? We hold strong affections for The Muppets and The Gummy Bears and why did they take the Smurfs off the air? After school specials were only about cigarettes and step-families, the Polka Dot Door was nothing like Barney, and aren't the Power Rangers just Voltron reincarnated?
We are the ones who still read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, the Bobbsey Twins, Beverly Clearly and Judy Blume, Richard Scary and the Electric Company. Friendship bracelets were ties you couldn't break and friendship pins went on shoes - preferably hightop Velcro Reeboks - and pegged jeans were in, as were Units belts and layered socks and jean jackets and jams and charm necklaces and side pony tails and just tails. Rave was a girl's best friend; braces with colored rubberbands made you cool.
The backdoor was always open and Mom served only red Kool-Aid to the neighborhood kids- we never drank New Coke. Entertainment was cheap and lasted for hours. All you needed to be a princess was high heels and an apron; the Sit'n'Spin always made you dizzy but never made you stop; Pogoballs were dangerous weapons and Chinese Jump Ropes never failed to trip someone. In your Underoos you were Wonder Woman or Spider Man or R2D2 and in your treehouse you were king.In the Eighties, nothing was wrong. Did you know the president was shot? Star Wars was not only a movie. Did you ever play in a bomb shelter? Did you see the
Challenger Shuttle explode or feed the homeless man? We forgot Vietnam and watched Tiananman's Square on CNN and bought pieces of the Berlin Wall at the store. AIDS was not the number one killer in the United States. We didn't start the fire, Billy Joel.
In the Eighties, we redefined the American Dream, and those years defined us. We are the generation in between strife and facing strife and not turning our backs. The Eighties may have made us idealistic, but it's that idealism that will push us and be passed on to our children - the first children of the twenty-first century. Never forget: We are the children of the Eighties.
Yes, America! We are the children of the 80’s. So who are we? That can be summed up by a simple essay. If you are truly a child of the 80’s, you won’t need me to tell you what movie this comes from. You’ll know from reading the first line.

“Dear Mr. Vernon:

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But, we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But, what we found out is that each one of us is: a brain . . .
And an athlete…
And a basket case…
A princess…
And a criminal…
Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club”
 
Welcome to the 1980’s all over again. Let’s have some fun!

 http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-80s-ebook/dp/B007Y6WZF6/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1364509224&sr=8-3&keywords=the+ultimate+80%27s

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ultimate-80s-john-schweingrouber/1113572765?ean=2940044993952

Friday, March 15, 2013

You Might Be a Redneck...

Not to go all "Jeff Foxworthy" on you, but if you have a pair of swinging truck balls on the back of your Ford...you might be a redneck.

(This concludes the shortest blog post on the web.)

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The 80's Best Songs

Do you know that feeling you get when you're driving down the road and one of your favorite songs comes on the radio, one from when you were in high school? Maybe it's a rockin' tune and your pulse races and you speed up a little bit when you hear "I Can't Drive 55" or "Panama" is playing. Or maybe it's one of those classics like "When Doves Cry" by Prince and the Revolution or "Don't You Forget About Me," the classic theme song to The Breakfast Club movie.

Whatever the song, nostalgia sets in. It does for me. Everytime I hear "Heat of the Moment" by Asia I crank the radio up loud and think back to those fun times. Hanging out with friends and "cruising" around town just to see who else was out and what our other freinds from school were doing for fun. Sometimes we'd end up at a friends' house playing Nintendo or watching a movie. Of course back then they were all on VHS. Yep, those old dinosaurs are long forgetten by now unless you were a part of the last batch of kids to see those. We would go back out and cruise around a while longer playing music from the cassettes put out by our favorite bands back then (Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Huey Lewis and the News, etc...) only to end up at someone's house to watch Saturday Night Live back when it was in it's prime.

So as you think back to those times, your favorite songs, your best friends...take a walk with me through the 80's and smile. Check out my book about those times, our experiences, and all things fun about the 80's. Tell some friends about it, then get together over drinks and talk about some good times. The Ultimate 80's is available in all e-reader formats, but here is where you can check it out if you have an Amazon Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-80s-ebook/dp/B007Y6WZF6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361666122&sr=8-1&keywords=the+ultimate+80%27s

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Americans!

The Americans, the newest show on FX, is a breath of fresh air for viewers who are tired of and turned off by the endless and mindless number of reality TV shows. Finally a show that highlights mystery and intrigue on a weekly basis. If you haven’t been following the show so far I suggest you set your DVR Wednesday nights and enjoy this roller coaster of international espionage.

This show is set in the early 1980’s and features a married couple with two young kids. By day they seem like just another ordinary American family living in the suburbs of D.C. However, they were trained in Russia to be spies in America, to blend in with the culture, to raise children like every other family, and to conduct deadly high level espionage when instructed by their bosses from Moscow. In the second episode their task was to plant a bug inside the home of the Secretary of Defense.

 So what’s next and where will their loyalties ultimately lie as they are torn between the commitment to their homeland and their two kids and life in America. Give this show a chance and you’ll likely not be disappointed.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

It's the Little Things

Just a few random thoughts during this holiday. With Christmas just a few days away I am always mindful this time of year that it is the little things that count in life. It’s not about gifts and decorations, it’s about the moments that you share with others. A laugh, a smile, an encouraging or complimentary word.

It’s been a long year for a lot of people. The economy still sucks. In my region the main economic driver is the energy sector and thousands of families are out of work during this holiday season. Recently the school shooting in Newtown, CT reminded us that there is evil in this world and that life is precious and sometimes cut way too short.

I got a package in the mail yesterday that emphasizes this point. I opened the box with a kid-like excitement and smiled and laughed at every trinket in the box, things for ages 3 and up. Oh, and some really great hot chocolate powder that I refuse to share with anyone! But I was reminded again that it is the little things that count. There could have been a $500 gift inside of that box. But nothing compared to the fact that someone thought about me and gave me some gifts to keep me chuckling. Just being thought about was priceless. I called to say thanks for the gifts and probably spent over a half hour laughing over the phone. A great conversation is a gift that lasts forever because it is in your memories going forward. Something as goofy as a socket monkey night light brought a lot of joy.

So remember this holiday how it’s the little things that matter. My older sister is going through chemotherapy for breast cancer right now. Spending some time with her goofing off is priceless. Sharing some laughs and some funny gifts with someone special is priceless. Remember those things that money can’t buy and that’s where you’ll find the best gifts of all.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Top 10 One Hit Wonders of the 80's

When I think back on growing up in the 80's I remember mostly how dynamic and fun the culture was. It was a time of excess on all levels. "Excess" is a word I use a lot in my book The Ultimate 80's (available for all eBook formats at online retailers). Excess in fashion, excess in movies and television, and mostly in music. The 80's kicked off with the new wave phenomenon and the rise of MTV and its impact on the culture at large, and on the politics of the day.

I cover a lot of fun topics in my eBook, including a ton of personal top ten lists in the world of fashion, music, television, and movies. You'll find a lot of interesting trivia in the book. But one topic I didn't cover in much detail was the one hit wonders of the 80's. There were a lot of them! So I thought I'd toss in my personal top 10 one hit wonders of the 80's. Got a few of your own favorites, feel free to share them.

10. Eddie Grant - "Electric Avenue"
9.  Nena - "99 Luft Balloons"
8.  John Parr - "St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)"
7.  T'Pau - "Heart and Soul"
6.  The Outfield - "Your Love"
5.  Rockwell - "Somebody's Watching Me"
4.  Gary Numan - "Cars"
3.  Modern English - "I Melt With You"
2.  Big Country - "In A Big Country"
1.  Flock of Seagulls - "I Ran"

Saturday, December 15, 2012

NOOK and Kindle!

Since I am in the process of writing a new novel, I thought I'd take a moment to share with you the link for my author page on Barnes & Noble's website. (At the bottom of this blog).

So far I have 7 books available online for eReaders. Four are in a horror series (Legends and Landmarks), two are short story compilations. Those short stories are kind of like horror meets the Twilight Zone. The other book I have is a humorous nostalgia book about the 80's.

Also, I have a short story available for free that is titled Game, Set, Match. I wanted to make something free for readers so those who haven't read my work can get a fun sample before spending your hard earned money. Everything is under $10, no need to charge high prices for something that has no overhead or uses physical materials like paper and ink.

My books are available in all eReader formats. Thanks to those who have bought my work. If you haven't, take some time to at least get the free download and see if you like it. eBooks make a great Christmas gift! I appreciate all of my readers, and thanks again.

Cheers!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/schweingrouber?keyword=schweingrouber&store=allproducts&iehack=%E2%98%A0